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Spam, Spam, Spam, Spam

Posted July 8, 2011 9:07 PM by Dylan Miyake

I'm a big fan of Monty Python, and a big fan of spiced canned meat, but I have to say that I'm not a big fan of random spam that comes to me (and other unfortunate blog owners) via comment spam. We've tried using CAPTCHA codes to slow them down, we've tried blacklisting IP addresses, and it's just a battle you can't win. Most of the spam doesn't even make any sense! So, effective today, we're moderating comments on this site. So, yes, I will still get to enjoy the crazy comments, but hopefully I can spare some of you. Continue past the break for the eponymous skit.

Wife:All right.
Man:Morning!
Waitress:Morning!
Man:Well, what've you got?
Waitress:Well, there's egg and bacon; egg sausage and bacon; egg and spam; egg bacon and spam; egg bacon sausage and spam; spam bacon sausage and spam; spam egg spam spam bacon and spam; spam sausage spam spam bacon spam tomato and spam;
Vikings:Spam spam spam spam...
Waitress:...spam spam spam egg and spam; spam spam spam spam spam spam baked beans spam spam spam...
Vikings:Spam! Lovely spam! Lovely spam!
Waitress:...or Lobster Thermidor a Crevette with a mornay sauce served in a Provencale manner with shallots and aubergines garnished with truffle pate, brandy and with a fried egg on top and spam.
Wife:Have you got anything without spam?
Waitress:Well, there's spam egg sausage and spam, that's not got much spam in it.
Wife:I don't want ANY spam!
Man:Why can't she have egg bacon spam and sausage?
Wife:THAT'S got spam in it!
Man:Hasn't got as much spam in it as spam egg sausage and spam, has it?
Vikings:Spam spam spam spam... (Crescendo through next few lines...)
Wife:Could you do the egg bacon spam and sausage without the spam then?
Waitress:Urgghh!
Wife:What do you mean 'Urgghh'? I don't like spam!
Vikings:Lovely spam! Wonderful spam!
Waitress:Shut up!
Vikings:Lovely spam! Wonderful spam!
Waitress:Shut up! (Vikings stop) Bloody Vikings! You can't have egg bacon spam and sausage without the spam.
Wife:I don't like spam!
Man:Sshh, dear, don't cause a fuss. I'll have your spam. I love it. I'm having spam spam spam spam spam spam spam beaked beans spam spam spam and spam!
Vikings:Spam spam spam spam. Lovely spam! Wonderful spam!
Waitress:Shut up!! Baked beans are off.
Man:Well could I have her spam instead of the baked beans then?
Waitress:You mean spam spam spam spam spam spam... (but it is too late and the Vikings drown her words)
Vikings:Spam spam spam spam. Lovely spam! Wonderful spam! Spam spa-a-a-a-a-am spam spa-a-a-a-a-am spam. Lovely spam! Lovely spam! Lovely spam! Lovely spam! Lovely spam! Spam spam spam spam!

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